In the variety show “my family that boy”, talking about parental divorce, Wu Yi said often have nightmares dreaming of their father leaving, resulting in adult relationships also affected. The matter of divorce, although it is a private matter of the couple, but when there is a child, will inevitably have a lifelong impact on it ……
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Impact one, lack of security
American psychologists have found that children with a sense of secure attachment are more likely to overcome anxiety and fear in unfamiliar environments, adapt quickly to their environment, explore new things, and try to engage with strangers to expand their horizons and their cognitive abilities can develop quickly. Children who lack a sense of security, on the other hand, often lack self-confidence and are emotionally unstable.
An intact family with a good parental relationship is an important source of adequate security for children. Once the parental relationship breaks down and the family structure collapses, the child’s heart is taken over by fear. If one parent leaves and does not see the child for a long time, then they will think they are abandoned, and this idea will take root in their minds and slowly eat up the security they previously had, leaving the child in an isolated situation, and they will grow up to be sensitive and irritable, timid and fearful.
Impact 2: Difficulty in establishing intimate relationships
The direct manifestation of the child’s concept of love and marriage is affected. A study once showed that those who do not want to get married, or have difficulty maintaining long-term intimate relationships with others, often experienced violent parental arguments, long-term separation, divorce in childhood. The family is the first school in a child’s life, and parents are the first teachers. When teachers do not teach them how to love others, children do not know how to express their love and accept the love of others.
At the same time, children whose parents are divorced will usually encounter difficulties when they start a family again, such as poor communication with their partners, easy conflicts, not being able to teach their children in the right way, etc.
Impact 3: Difficulty in trusting others
As social animals, people always need to relate to others to gain psychological dependence. However, children with divorced parents find it difficult to trust others. They are overprotective, afraid of being hurt, always keep their distance from others, and are suspicious of others’ goodwill, making social activities a burden for them. However, their hearts yearn for the love of others, so they often grow up in a state of contradiction, worry, and may become hysterical.
How are the children of divorced families doing now? Let’s see what our friends have to say
@cornspringrolls: When my parents divorced in elementary school, I went with my dad, and then he found an aunt, who also had a daughter, so our family of four was formed. But my dad is much more interested in his aunt’s children than in me, saying that she is better at learning than I am, prettier than I am, and more likeable than I am. Am I not his child? The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
@DiggaAtman: After working to understand why my parents want to divorce, instead of fighting and smashing things at home every day, it is better to live their own, but after the divorce they both still care about me (I live with my grandparents), so there is nothing. The biggest impact may be that I began to fear marriage, I always think I can not form a new family, the former girlfriend talked about five years, but also because of this and I broke up, said I did not bear. Now that I am alone, I am quite happy with my life.
The degree to which children are affected depends on how well the parents handle the divorce and how well they care for their children afterwards. Some parents’ relationships come to an end and they tear apart during the divorce, and one or both of them are estranged from their children after the divorce, which can be very damaging to them. Some parents, however, are polite in their divorce, and both parties care for their children no less, and the children are less adversely affected.
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